This book started as a note on my phone in March 2017. A single idea: What if magic was memory?
I didn’t know it would take nine years. I didn’t know it would live in every notes app, email thread, and text-to-self I owned. I wrote when the compulsion hit — at 2 AM, in parking lots, in voice memos that autocorrected “spread” to “Spanish.”
The notes were scattered across Evernote, Google Docs, Scrivener, Apple Notes, emails to myself, texts to myself. For years, the novel existed as fragments — a scene here, a character sketch there, a magic system that kept evolving until it was larger than the story it was built for.
The protagonist was originally called Nim. He became Aelo — “breath of remembering” — when the magic system crystallized into something I hadn’t expected: a story about what it costs to hear the world, and what it costs to be heard.
The man I was in 2017 couldn’t have written this book. He had the bones, but he didn’t have the depth. Nine years of living gave me that. Nine years of grief, of love, of carrying things for a long time and learning what the carrying costs.
I’m grateful for every year of the gap. The book is better for it. I am better for it.